Saturday, July 18, 2009

Top 10 Snowboarding Cakes

Because I have been using my time laying around on beaches and continuing to recover from last season’s injury it’s a short one this week. It may be short but I’m expecting it to be popular, if the sheer number of photos of these on the Internet is anything to go by pretty much everyone apart from me looks forward to having a snowboarding cake on their birthday...

Lots of obscure character references in this one for some reason. Click on the name if you have lots of spare time and want to learn more about a number of odd folks from TV history or the Bible.

In at Number 10
Now this is a decent sized cake. If there's one thing snowboarding cakes have in common, apart for the snowboarding, it's the shear size of these things.

Points for girth and being presented in a live snow environment. Points lost for inaccurate representations of snowflakes and the fact that I just don't like his face.

Number 9
A whole flock of snowboarders ride across one of Boy George's hats.
Points gained for styling the neon, but points deducted for lack of individuality

Number 8
Danger, cake avalanche!
Points given for extreme riding, but points taken away for the tea candles and the appearance of what appears to be a snowboarding jockey at the top of the slope.

Number 7
Janice from the Electric Mayhem Band on the Muppet Show is honored in this example of the snowboard cake genre.
Points scored for the fact that the snowboarder is clearly under the influence of drugs and the amazing trick of the floating bird. A large reduction of points for having the mountain draped in condoms.

Number 6
Caleb, son of Jephunneh is strangely honoured on this cake. Maybe it's not the character from the Bible but some lad called Caleb. I wonder why his parents decided not to go with the Jephunneh name?
This cake is a bit spoilt by the floating neon advertising. Just doesn't go with the birthday theme.

Points scored for the realistic fresh tracks and the pretty trees. One of the greatest sights in snowboarding is pretty trees. Marked down by the leather trousers, the fact that the birthday greeting is written in snot and the fact that Caleb has a head the size of a weather balloon.

Number 5
Windy Miller makes a rare appearance in the 21st century as a snowboarder...
Points scored for another good example of pretty trees. Points lost for inappropriate appearance of Bullwinkle J. Moose getting caught crimping one out.

Number 4
Well isn't Ryan a walking cliché of a modern teenager. Here he is snowboarding in spring carelessly leaving expensive electronic goods spread around the mountain.
Points for the incredible details of the icing accessories, points lost for Ryan's cavalier attitude to safety as he tears down the hill blindfolded.

Number 3
Mountain mayhem.

Points for the incredible amount of action and the drunk ice hockey player. Negative points for all the random albino penguins and for the dangerous idiot taking his board off and not holding on to it.

Number 2
Snowboarder survives serious ski lift collapse.
Points for the pretty impressive snowboarder but points lost for the gratuitous Burton branding and the use of a cast-off wedding cake.

And at Number 1
Why does this remind me of a toothpaste advert?
Points scored for the snowboarder dominating this frighteningly vertical mountain and for the excellent representation of tracking fresh powder. All these points then lost by the appearance of the stupid festival hat.

A hell of a lot of effort has gone into these things and that's impressive. It also looks like there is still some possible progression in the snowboarding cake scene, so seeing as we have a few months before next season I guess we all better get baking if we want to perfect this art.

Join us next week when we unveil our life-size Sean White birthday Pavlova

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