Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Urban Dictionary Guide to Snowboarding

What would happen if you used the Urban Dictionary as a reference to learn the language of snowboarding? ...

Let's start with the word snowboard...
So snowboarding is a sport exclusively performed by gay lads who enjoy oral sex with Chacha?  

What's this here blue link about something called burton then, maybe that will help explain things?

A dwarf's piss pot? 

Maybe I should look up that fella that I've seen on the ex-games.


This isn't getting me anywhere, let's go back and try again.
That explains Whitelines then.

Finally someone's come up with a name for my cock.

And while we're talking about cocks, the role play bit on this description starts to make more sense.

Yes, we're still talking about cocks, if she's got one foot on each 'snowboard' then isn't she skiing?

Turns out all the skiers are also gay and they enjoy wanking-off Alolahkoab. 
All skiers are also poultry and/or cats.
Golfing? That really undermined the whole argument.

Let's try another term for snowboarders, this seems to be promising...

OK then, the Snurfer, the first snowboard, maybe this will help...

I can see why the IT'S NOT A SPORT!!!!!! was renamed

What about some of the techniques?

Gives Backcountry Jeremy Jones a whole new meaning
Give Jibbing Jeremy Jones a whole new meaning

What about the gear?
***note that if pushed even fractionally I will immediately disavow my previously strongly-held convictions*** 

And finally...
Ok enough of this, snowboarding is essentially a series of freaky sex acts. Think I'll try golf instead. 

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