Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The London Ski & Snowboard Show’s Gear of the Future

 
After spending the last few weeks in China where snowboard blogs are forbidden, I arrived in London this weekend and suffering from a hefty dose of jet lag I headed over to the always strangely disappointing Ski & Snowboard Show. The Ski & Snowboard Show claim that they are ‘the largest consumer winter sports show in the world set in the heart of London’, which is a bit like me claiming that I’m the greatest snowboarder on earth sitting on my sofa. 

In amongst the crowd of shopportunists I found a few things of interest. If for some reason you didn’t make it to the biggest show in the London W14 8UX post code this weekend here are the top three products that will be rocking your snowboard world this season...


Willy Finder 
Here’s how they explain their product on the Willy Finder site…
If your looking for the latest in all-in-one fashion, then WILLYFINDER™ could not be more up your street. A classic range of peacocking outfits that are ready to turn the world of ski wear upside down. A better fit than your aunt's all-in-one from the 80's and definitely a better head turner. Stop trawling around auction websites for sub-standard gear and re-write the rule book on ski-wear fashion. 
Apparently these are the rules of inventing according to the makers of the Willy Finder.
  1. Round up a couple of friends and head to the pub
  2. Get a few drinks down you and start talking shit
  3. Reinvent the most useless product ever. (Next season they will be bringing back the monoboard)
  4. Drink a whole lot more
  5. Decide on a name
  6. Now most normal people would have woken up the next day with a blinding hangover, realised their idea was crap and moved on with their life. The guys at Willy Finder however decided to sink a whole lot of money into designing and producing the one-pieces, building a website, trade marking the brand name and financing a stand at the mighty Ski & Snowboard Show.
They trade marked the name Willy Finder…who in the hell would ever want to steal that name? It’s the sort of brand name you would only ever expect to find on a Japanese t-shirt.
A brace of Willy Finders

And they didn’t stop by producing one-pieces for adults. In the era of the permanent Facebook profile you can now fuck up your kids for life…

We cater for men and women with a penchant for flair attire and even the most adventurous of tot's in ourFINDERJUNIOR™ range.


Blingy Piste Star 
The Bikini Beach Star gang realised that their beachwear site had one fatal flaw - they could only make money in the British summer. They needed to find a way to make money the other 11 months of the year, and in a moment of blinding inspiration they came up with the all new Blingy Piste Star range
If you've always wanted thermals with diamante accents glued on by the small hands of Indian children then this is the outfit for you. Here’s what they say on the site…

So I’m looking and feeling a million Euros, whizzing down the slopes in the latest and most fabulous ski wear. Images and thoughts swoosh into my head of the super chic 50’s and 60’s skiing jet set, basking on restaurant decks at the likes of Le Cap Horn… But where has all the glitz and glamour gone off-piste? …it seems to have melted away.

For women like me, who want to make a statement sipping an après ski vin chaud, peeling off their outer layers to reveal dull boring long johns simply wont do! I want to feel confident and sexy from the inside out and once back in my cosy chalet I want to shimmer and shine whilst being snug and warm.

She spends her time in bars stripping down to her long johns? That really would make a statement. I’d normally just take my jacket off and stop there.

Well I have taken style out of the deep freeze and thawed out the glamour. A sprinkling of sparkle and star quality on beautiful feminine must have thermal pieces, a blingy piste star is born!

They actually tried to grab my attention as I passed this stall and now I’m living in constant fear that I looked like a potential customer.


Balance Bracelets
There were a couple of stands selling this type of product, Power Balance and Body Balance. What is a Balance Bracelet? Easy, the Body Balance website explains it succinctly…

Body Balance Powerbands™ consist of Cutting Edge Performance Technology powered by an embedded Mylar Hologram disc that radiates a range of frequencies that are proven to react positively with your body’s energy field. Use of this product has consistently shown to dramatically improve body functions such as balance, strength and flexibility as well as an overall sense of well being and improved focus commonly reported by users.

Excellent, that’s a whole great beneficial effects, but how does this science work? The Power Balance website explains further…

What is Power Balance?
Power Balance® is a performance technology that uses holograms embedded with frequencies that react positively with your body's natural energy field. .

How Does the Hologram Work?
Power Balance® is based on the idea of optimizing the body’s natural energy flow, similar to concepts behind many Eastern philosophies. The hologram is designed to respond to the natural energy field of the body. The Mylar material at the core has been treated with energy waves at specific frequencies. The resulting Mylar is believed to work with your body’s natural energy flow to help enable you to perform at the best of your ability.

And if you are still for some reason a bit sceptical, here’s a video that tests the product.
 Australia - a nation of ventriloquists

How much do these things cost? The Body Balance Powerband retails for $39.95 and the Power Balance retails for $29.95 in the US, or £29.99 in the UK (£29.99 is the equivalent of $48, so for some reason there is an extraordinary mark-up on these products in the UK). Power Balance has somehow managed to offload an estimated 2.5 million rubber bands worldwide.


That’s enough fresh gear advice. There was one thing I spotted that was quite interesting and a little different.

Bungalow Graphics 
This is the work of an artist called Charlie Adams who lives in Annecy in France. Together with his wife they sell his illustrations in all sorts of formats through the Bungalow Graphics site. They supply all sorts of things from paper and wood prints to credit card stickers. Who knew the world was calling out for a line of credit card stickers?


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Looking for more gear advice? Why not try out our handy guide to face fashion

2 comments:

  1. The monoboard is already back, I'm afraid: http://www.duretskis.com/Produits-Mono.html

    Love that underwear marketing bollocks, how utterly ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mint. Those are some tasty looking monos

    ReplyDelete

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