Friday, September 5, 2014

Scientifically this is the most fashionable man in snowboarding

The first Whitelines magazine of the season, the buyers' guide, is out on the shelves now and the quick purchasers amongst you might have noticed that a couple  of the pages have been coloured in by us. Illicit has gone non-clickable. We were tasked with what turned out to be a very tricky job of creating a mildly-amusing infographic. On the face of it that seemed straightforward, until we realised that those two things are mutually exclusive. Still, we forged on and produced the definitive historical guide to snowboarding fashion trends and weirdly enough it turns out that this cheeky chap might just be the most fashionable man in snowboarding...

Here's a sneaky peak at all the science we splashed across the two pages of Whitelines. This was the second draft, I was told by the editors that my first draft wasn't "illicit" enough. Once we'd got over the inevitable bafflement that this vague directive caused, I do now agree that the second version was better. Maybe they know what they're doing.

We can't really show you the whole thing, but all those lines and facts ended up showing that these were some of the key fashion trends for this season:
  • Roll-up beanies are in.
  • Camo is constantly in.
  • Earthy colours are so 2014/15.
  • Pants and stances should be rocked comfortably average this season.
  • And beards are at generational peak.

Once we'd sent our picture over to Whitelines uncomfortably close to something they call a 'print deadline', another of the Whitelines editors (they have a flock of them) after reading the conclusion, pointed out this guy:

Holly shit, does this man have his finger on the pulse of fashion. 
(The pulse of fashion represented here by a whispy ginger beard)

His name is Brandon Cocard, and although he is blessed by being incredibly on-fashion he has been cursed with the most innuendo-laden name in snowboarding. Cocard is a professional snowboarder in the Capita, Union and Airblaster teams, but perhaps the most significant moment in his life until now was his appearance in Jade the Snowboarder Magazine intern's list of top 10 hottest snowboarders.

Here is the hotty in action in Absinthe's Resonance:

But we're not here to objectify Cocard or watch him do his job, we're here for the fashion

 and this season the fashion wears 'Dinoflage' darlings

For any budding designers out there looking for camo inspiration this season here's a camouflage map of the world. Australia are the surprising losers, the runners up are Belgium, and Sweden, and the Democratic Republic of Congo takes the prize with a zesty leopard print.

Enough of this, feel free to go out and buy the new Whitelines 100 floppy book, browse through the snowboard gear porn, and help fund the next snowboard trip/jolly of those nice editor fellas.

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  1. I was trying to figure out the name reference and ended up realizing you guys must be pronouncing it cock-ard. Which would indeed be a most unfortunate name. Fortunately for Brandon it is pronounced Co-card.

    Here in North America the early 90s earth tones are definitely in effect but it is balanced out by another trend of 80s inspired brights and patterns (think neon animal prints).

    P.S. Im totally referring to Cocard as Cock Hard next time I see him.

  2. Do it. It needs to become a thing. Maybe we should also start a fan page called 'I Love Cocard'.

  3. His name is Brandon GoHard. Dude is the nicest man in snowboarding and drops more hammers than a 60 year old union worker.

  4. BTW saw Cocard last weekend and filled him in on the story. I told him I was now going to refer to him as Cock Hard and he told me Bode has been doing that for the past four years. Damn that Bode!


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