Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The 12 Best eBay CRAZY SKI HATS!

eBay now have a specific section of their site called 'Crazy Ski Hats'. It was our destiny to find out more...

Just in time for the release of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie the crazy hat manufacturers have managed to churn out some copyrightastic balaclavas.

MICHELANGELO - FACE MASK Winter Ski Balaclava Knit Beanie Hat Crazy Cool FUNNY

Q. Why didn't they cut the eye holes to match the pattern? 
A: Because they're CRAZY!

The first rule of selling crazy hat's through eBay: Crazy Hat sellers FUCKING LOVE CAPITALS!

Hat plunged down over model head to provide no useful sizing information at all. 

Beard Head Beardhead Pink Bunny Crazy Ski Snowboard Hat Cap Stash

Beard masks, crap at the best of times, but they truly make no sense if they're pink. It just looks like you've inserted your head into a Barbie's stroller.

American Eagles Outfitters NEW Blue Ski Cap Winter Hat Beanie Knit #CRAZY Hat

Hash tag wanker

100% Wool Nepal Winter Crazy Monkey Animal Fleece Lined Beanie Ski Cap Hat Rasta

Monkey? Looks like a the result of that one-night stand between an roofied zebra and Bert from Sesame Street.

Just in case having an igloo on your head didn't make things clear, we've added a badge to alert people to avoid you like West Africa.

Only useful if you're a paedophile stalking a ball pit.

An incredible case of over-selling and under-delivering. Not only is it the exact opposite of 'CRAZY', it's also completely non-functional as a hat. Here's another angle....

It's just an itchy head doily. 

Let's get back to crazy, and it's doesn't get any more crazy than this...

Not a hat, but being eBay any old shit pops up in every category, and this time we got this bowel-looseningly terrifying doll.

It's main interactive play feature is the withered-arm Nazi salute.

Mental Gear Ski & Snowboard - Crazy Fleece Adult HAT - Hellraiser - Red

This is just one example of the immense range of hats you can buy with dildos all over them.

It's a green reindeer with eyes in it's ears.

The main problem with this is that it looks nothing like a shark, so you'll be constantly required to explain the meaning of your really shitty hat to people, only to have to experience their disappointment and disdain directly to your face, rather than the usual comfort of having those truly uncomfortable reactions happen behind your back.

Buy the silly hat or the crazy lady will STAB YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT!

If you fancy buying a hat in preparation for a season of being beaten up at random, here's the Crazy Ski Hat page. Other similar pages also worth checking out are the Mental Hat page, the Jester Hat collection and the bemusing Mohawk Beanie range.

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1 comment:

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