Sunday, March 29, 2009

Crap Snowboarding Signs

 


Last season I was snowboarding in Big Bear (an American resort with correspondingly silly name) in when I noticed this sign…

American’s can be a pretty litigious race but I can’t help feeling that this sign was really over stating the bleeding obvious. Anyway, after taking this photo, and just to stick it to the man, I rode straight across the paving. That told them.

And it made me wonder what other stupid signs I could find. To save me visiting all the resorts in the world and wasting my precious time and sanity finding and photographing signs, I decided to use the power of the Internet to find/steal images from other people’s diligent research. 

First I started at home and my friend Paul’s Facebook profile (I believe he may also have borrowed this image. Stealer!)...

Not quite sure what Paul was trying to say by having this as his profile picture, but I fear his parents are in for a shock. 
Still at least he didn't have this one...
Poor old Gary Glitter just isn't welcome anywhere these days.
So children aren't fair game but apparently innocent bins are in the firing line of winter-sports-enjoying sexual deviants...

Danger. Look out for skiers taking a particularly tricky line of grass slope, to wall-drop, to road, to wall-ride, to drop into more grass. I don't imagine this is a viable ski slope even in winter...

Earlier this year I was snowboarding in Japan and I fondly reminisced when I saw these signs...



Discerning shoes forbid certain types of snow?
A dire warning for Chicken Little...


This one is also horribly reminiscent of the time I spent in Japan...

But snowboarding is a dangerous sport so enough with this frivolity. Lets look at the health warnings.

"You Can Die"

Danger - Ski Pirates

"You Will Die!!!"

Not convinced by that warning? Lets take a look at some signs that show what happens if you ignore this sage advice...
Avalanches. tumbly fun.

Danger - Listening to Cliff Richard induces suicide.

Skiers falling off cliffs will flail about discarding poles and skis in a most undignified manner.

Whereas in the same situation a snowboarder will show real style by tweaking the hell out of it...

I spotted one other related thing while reading a snowboard magazine about the history of the Brits (the British Snowboarding Championship). I noticed that, looming in the background of one photo, was a sign that proudly proclaimed that Laax (a Swiss resort) was crap. Here's a picture of Laax...

Not only is the resort crap, apparently so are the bars...

And the lifts...

The Craplift is acctually a drag lift and therefore it's probably the only one intentionally named

That's more than enough crap for one week. So long

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