![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJtBqPe3jtv66lZSe_4BGfmAbAmSAv6wELGxeaiS5YjMoNeIok85GBfcwU72ZFzXqlvbvSlSy-dq7z9Bq_EN09uW0o7s_7Rx1gjD_ZtXr3nwgFNCzKUuUaTX5Q9-lqLfKm89p3GIdSIc/s400/snowboard-signs.gif)
Last season I was snowboarding in Big Bear (an American resort with correspondingly silly name) in when I noticed this sign…
American’s can be a pretty litigious race but I can’t help feeling that this sign was really over stating the bleeding obvious. Anyway, after taking this photo, and just to stick it to the man, I rode straight across the paving. That told them.
And it made me wonder what other stupid signs I could find. To save me visiting all the resorts in the world and wasting my precious time and sanity finding and photographing signs, I decided to use the power of the Internet to find/steal images from other people’s diligent research.
First I started at home and my friend Paul’s Facebook profile (I believe he may also have borrowed this image. Stealer!)...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYY4dtKkftZT-37gHbZfnVY3wjSrOUyKQDatGhAysK1Puui9hq3T7O5LUXrnPArlFW6DKWoIUVcb6IQ50aP55jpOVngHzrs1BiVhCBglzV6lF1bi3k5kTtqYUf-g5rPWi8qckrXwYB5g/s400/sign+fail.jpg)
Not quite sure what Paul was trying to say by having this as his profile picture, but I fear his parents are in for a shock.
Still at least he didn't have this one...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0xcnxkjasrLd382EG1A8bsSYKj2QDaXCCFxpjfy4b9fvezvbYZeUPSfYy5dznQNUhvlyN-vujV009iSVd2wg-aIfZ2CTW-kRsq87JdjvBZY6d2PTfC0RolhcJnPuoq_oFETd9T1LiWc/s400/no+paedos.jpg)
Poor old Gary Glitter just isn't welcome anywhere these days.
So children aren't fair game but apparently innocent bins are in the firing line of winter-sports-enjoying sexual deviants...
Danger. Look out for skiers taking a particularly tricky line of grass slope, to wall-drop, to road, to wall-ride, to drop into more grass. I don't imagine this is a viable ski slope even in winter...![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh51oUaZ6gGf0Nvl2b3GyqseRvm75jhM3VqU55Pc12WBlVPPwqUi1nnTXnVriSk5XtFOsvZDksIMJwAVf0gUueOZQGyaZr4ZL04fBjq24PawOwH-JUQ0WlrqNiwoR7E6zxAHiUjNm2ZmOI/s400/summer+ski.jpg)
Earlier this year I was snowboarding in Japan and I fondly reminisced when I saw these signs...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia_zk40yF4xqQ5yvn13F0YLAgEQd5ZoPPyN2sTCNJ0CZunS-XE1BK_uMmQGLSbnFQu49fOuHXE_Q_hvCI8AlXikmw0AFhiyKh1gycpBjvG9EtVaZQ_MIkm35Ea7Ks1ZDab9NylOweR4U8/s400/former+run.jpg)
A dire warning for Chicken Little...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisBtawgDvrKeZxKYqsmLuSLXy61eNdentQFfvW247RO2eDSqTMZAP2M-GnCSm0AVjA40SsesNp7bW1n1V5HsicWL5VkER50cyzlBhUUqegSFNxrWwPxZnQpwsLpct7rhceIFfPphfE4eI/s400/chicken+little.jpg)
This one is also horribly reminiscent of the time I spent in Japan...
But snowboarding is a dangerous sport so enough with this frivolity. Lets look at the health warnings.
"You Can Die"
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChHgc9bl8mpAiYtIo7RAuGqyrboBRCge3SNg6OjsCKorWaMMGanmPjDrhnrCM79B8GnEWqi9WL-ILeBwtfo-pa4XJaApiUFBqce0NnTWM35CzcMtcO3TagpzVKOcr05hAq-4ZAHqjo3Q/s400/you+will+die.jpg)
Not convinced by that warning? Lets take a look at some signs that show what happens if you ignore this sage advice...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEx7TtHoQdIa1Uop4hRwL-9Z___u9fIOZ2meVoY8FHs9aYha1w3mQQBjeGdiLiLPpg5wuVatooEt3qSKDUYZ-L2qIQsMB7-EH1joOuv8iZuFoX3ztp_pIgpY38iAwBWTOQWChRKSpoPT4/s400/avalanche.jpg)
Avalanches. tumbly fun.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBSfo3Cf5H8TfZdEqJwlc4oUYcU-pN0YP5O2t_obz1YtKFaqyllqdcu5O-ISX_cKyD9kJDU5K_5fMTb9ob4UiEQaNTqU1MHyWobL865RkxxsFskfq6KKPDxe717UMrWcSCOvxzAPpNX9k/s400/cliff+drop.jpg)
Danger - Listening to Cliff Richard induces suicide.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgox5od0CGPOHuBfHtu-_VfM7Rno4aHQ5CXxXhMkbOSt3AM5VlbPFg5qtjvDqLSIWprfdqi37k1_Gb09sU3uIbhDc-Bn0G8BfFuwFYECpYugf28oWjfKHaqlNfHslbx9lIm_QFUgpzDyIo/s400/ciiff+drop+ski.jpg)
Skiers falling off cliffs will flail about discarding poles and skis in a most undignified manner.
Whereas in the same situation a snowboarder will show real style by tweaking the hell out of it...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpKyKx6p5sp5xru3ZuDT8wBZ7culOHb8LFNllthIAXZ1W2jfxnNxQkwzWsRe8cFFcQj04AhwdQ7PrRTp7REWMZQR8GRkIRvT0gB-i7T5kLl-D0hi5bV2NF0zTt2rZnXPPnTzwM1nNJSYw/s400/cliff+drop+board.jpg)
I spotted one other related thing while reading a snowboard magazine about the history of the Brits (the British Snowboarding Championship). I noticed that, looming in the background of one photo, was a sign that proudly proclaimed that Laax (a Swiss resort) was crap. Here's a picture of Laax...
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMk0D70N7QvpuiNPT80reL8HTVTOdVSyAY_BJskG2IqqC5uWFhkaBojvQMmdpNt6q9prnO_PQmMMHY3l-eujepUt_zbz2QYGt8Kv-IBbI9LsH3VyWhSA-d5Q4pBBlJDIqSlY7Dq5hnNxc/s400/laax+crap.jpg)
Not only is the resort crap, apparently so are the bars...
And the lifts...
The Craplift is acctually a drag lift and therefore it's probably the only one intentionally named
That's more than enough crap for one week. So long
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz0LINLsOwtRp_xnVs37TU9H_DHV-RpDQhqaboLS41J6l5h4AAPAxSOMUpE2R3_pZrXBK6El3h9YbvDKSJvbFJ68-EkDr_Zy-X8mkHyTajAhFzmtsUSziNDk8f-T5j9x_NSwx9f9FB9W8/s400/used+rainbows.jpg)
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