Monday, August 23, 2010

Further Adventures in the Wonderful World of Snowboarding Tattoos

 
Last year we wrote an article on snowboarding tattoos and that article has become by far the most read part of our site. It’s so popular that the article now accounts for more than 25% of all the visitors who have ever come to the site. 

But since last year the internet has continued to fill up with more snowboarding inspired tattoos so it’s time for Snowboarding Tattoos 2 or I guess Snowboarding Tattwo. Because the first article ended up bringing so many readers to our site I image that this one will probably put us up somewhere in the Google/Facebook range…


The people that have been visiting the original snowboarding tattoo article seem to be there to get genuine inspiration for their own permanent skin etchings and most of them leave angry and disappointed, never to set foot on the site again. Knowing that and spending a lot of time researching the subject this article here’s some serious tips on getting a snowboard tattoo, because it’s clearly a dangerous thing to attempt with at least 98% of snowboarding tattoos ending in failure.

Firstly lets start controversially with an example of the 2% that is actually passable.

A snowboard tattoo that is actually not that bad!
Former pro snowboarder Kevin Casillo’s Grenade/Pirate ship tattoo. He now works for Spy

Enough of that let’s spend the rest of the article looking at the pitfalls.

Rule 1. Find a tattoo artist that can draw

Short Arm of the Law
It’s a tattoo of the Tyrannosaurus Rex of snowboarders. It goes well with the adult diapers

Dirtboarding
A very literal representation of snowboarding in an uninspiring palette of brown

Tatooine Tattoo
Some guy from the Snowboard Club UK forum put together his own Darth Vader inspired tattoo idea. Unfortunately the tattoo artist didn’t really do it justice. 

Rule 2. It’s even better if the artist has some idea about snowboarding and understands it is not an aquatic event.

Enchanted Arts Tattoo
Krissy, who rocks an incredibly wide stance, snowboards down a series of heinous looking bruises in her underwater kingdom.

Rule 3. Don’t be tempted to get a spur of the moment tattoo for a prize, because you will end up looking like a prize idiot.

Enchanted Ass Tattoo

It’s those crazy guys at Ride snowboards again giving away snowboards at the I Love Ride tattoo parties. Because of these dubious events Ride have officially become the single biggest cause of bad snowboard tattoos. Here’s some “winners” from a party in Australia back in 2008. 

That is one strange inbred looking kid. Does his tattoo really say Ride? It looks just as much like it says Douche

Tattoos make you look sexy.

Rule 4. Make it meaningful
I was reading the Aussie snowboard magazine Transfer the other day and they had an interview with tattooed pro snowboarder Tom Pelley who obviously puts a lot of thought into his body art. 
Transfer: You have tattoos…What have you got so far, what’s it all about, and what do you have planned?
Pelley:  All have deep meaning to me except the one on my thigh, which says, “I heart ice cream.” I did it myself and it basically just states that I love ice cream.
Photos of his tattoos here although disappointing it doesn't include the ice cream one 

Some guys put in more effort and it really pays off like…
Skidoo vs Horse
This guy loves skidoos and fucking hates horses.

And others put in a bit less effort like
Chair Lift Tattoos
For some reason, as we found in the last episode, the chair lift is the most popular snowboard themed tattoo. I’m not clear why though, because it’s the part of the day when you are not snowboarding. At least they aren’t celebrating the lift queue.
another chair lift tattoo

another chair lift tattoo

Rule 5. Don’t try too hard to be arty
If you have to explain it it’s probably not worth it.

Jaundice Tattoo
It’s a version of the infinite regression.  It’s a bit like the artist painting a picture of the artist painting a picture …. It’s the reflection of the snowboarder in the goggles of a girl tattooed on the arm of the snowboarder who is also the reflection of the snowboarder...

Silhouette Scenery
Another visual conundrum it’s a view of mountains through the silhouette of a snowboarder.

Blue Tattoo on a Ginger Man
His tattoo clashes with his tiny goatee. Other than that is quite lovely

Mount Hood Tattoo
It’s Van Gough, just without the ear-severing lunacy

Rule 6. Don’t sacrifice yourselves on the alter of internet opinion.
Something I’ve noticed is that the people with the worst tattoos are the quickest to take a photo and stick it on some forum, only to be hit by a tsunami of abuse. It leads to the learning that if you are getting that tattoo with the ambition of showing it off to the world of forums, you are about to get yourself a shitty tattoo.

Prison Tattoo Snowboard Girl
Someone put a picture of their snowboard on the Transworld site with the caption “New tattoo on the inside of my left forearm :)”. The response…
ballz deep – “awful. just awful.”
rallyInspired – “april fools?”
feedme – “hands down the worst tattoo I've ever seen”

Rule 7. Don’t get a Burton tattoo
Now this is a real no go. Last year when we looked we couldn’t find any Burton tattoos but this time it looks like there is a horrifying trend starting. Some of you might be wondering why you should steer clear of a Burton tattoo well here’s an example for a start.

Rule 8. Don’t cross the streams
Of course then you can combine a Burton tattoo with a forum posting for the ultimate cautionary tale. Here are a couple of guys from the Burton site.

It’s a skull, some flowers and a huge Burton logo. Even some of the guys on the Burton forum think this is nuts...
dumb – “Fucking retarded”
To which bud4ever responded “…hell yeah! lol”

And we finish with the ultimate nutter. This lad has a few photo albums of himself titled “get some”, “Burton is LIFE” and “am I crazy or crazy 4 BURTON.. =)”
He’s only managed to get two comments...
gusto13 – “giving me the douchechills”
Eric – “Agreed”
Question: am I crazy or crazy 4 BURTON.. =)
Answer: Yes and yes.

So there you go, yet more inadvisable tattoo ideas. If there’s anything to learn from these 8 rules, it’s probably that you shouldn’t get a snowboard themed tattoo so maybe try something else instead. Now I’m going to sit back and watch the hordes of Internet people flood to the site. I imagine I’ll soon become rich beyond the dreams of avarice.


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6 comments:

  1. Kevin's tat and horse crash are dq'd

    ReplyDelete
  2. MOST UGLIEST TATTOOS I VE EVER SEEN.. LOOOOOOOOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. i like the lift tatt. :]

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the skull inside the burton logo... I mean the art aint bad but I wouldn't put a logo tatoo on myself for free.. that is unless it was the Newcastle Brown Ale logo... or fender... hehehee!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The red Burton tattoo is real shit. Doesn't mean anything and it doesn't even look good!
    Where can I post a photo of mine?

    ReplyDelete
  6. burton sucks, get a real snowboard!

    ReplyDelete

 
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