Following the success of David Benedek’s book Current State: Snowboarding and now that it’s the end of the season we thought we’d dissect snowboarding’s summer cousin, sandboarding…

"Picture editor, I need a photo for a story we're printing about snowboarding."

"No problem. Do you want the snowboarder to be doing anything specific?"

“Yeah, I need an action shot, get a picture of them jumping”

“Should be simple enough. Do you want them jumping in a park or do you want a freeride shot?”

“What the hell does freeride mean? Is it one of those Instagram filter things? I like the park idea though, it's much more original than a plain old mountain. Let's switch it up even more and have them jumping in the middle of a city street, without any snow.”

“In the middle of a road? Are you sure, it will only be a foot high standing jump and it will look really awkward.”

“Of course I’m sure, do you think I’m an idiot? Also I want it at night, the snowboarder needs to look petrified and I need him to be chased by a huge Ukrainian prostitute.”

“Really? Is that all?”

“Oh yeah, the snowboarder needs to be Todd Richards.”…

If you're editing a newspaper and you need to rustle up some photos to quickly tart up a crappy article about snowboarding, then you can turn to stock photography for help. Unfortunately the models don't have the first clue about snowboarding...