Thursday, December 24, 2009

Last Christmas we took a look at the snowboarding legend that is Santa Claus, so this year we take a look at another member of Team Christmas – The Snowman.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Accidental Hero column is dedicated to snowboarders who brought something to snowboarding but for whatever reason did not become a household name. This week we take a look at Banana George, a man who didn't quite make it to snowboarding superstardom because he was a bit of a late starter. 

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Skiing has brought the world a number of dubious trends over the years. In the 80s and 90s one of those trends was the appearance of a plague of ski-related cartoons. Things got so bad that, for a time, anyone vaguely aware of the sport was exposed to an array of them, through unwanted Christmas presents, Fat Face/White Stuff t-shirts worn by posh ski punters and seeing them decorating the walls of almost every resort toilet.
Like this one for example, usually seen accompanied by some sort of 'on the piste' joke
Over time snowboarding has taken on some of the trends of skiing but fortunately the pandemic of the snowboarding cartoon has not reached us. Wanting to understand how we avoided this danger I have run a test of the snowboard cartoons available in the internet to understand why it hasn’t caught on.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

This guy’s story is so bonkers it just didn't fit into our other categories so this is a first article in a new segment we hope we will see a lot more of - Notorious Snowboarders
Notorious Snowboarder #1: Dr. Frederick Lenz, III – Snowboarder, Author and Cult Leader
In the late 90s Frederick Lens wrote a couple of best selling books that were a strange mix of new-age religion and snowboarding. Lenz, who considered himself to be a “World-class snowboarder”, based his novels on his experiences of snowboarding in the HimalayasLet’s take a look at the book the critics describe as:

"Poorly researched crud."  - The Denver Post

"Terrifically dull and stupefying," and "Aside from failing on every level, there is nothing remarkable about this novel, except that it was published."  - The Santa Fe Sun

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Following last week’s article on snowboarder slash rappers, this week we take a look at a selection of rapper slash snowboarders...

Snowboarding Celebrity No. 10: Coolio 
In 1995 Artis Leon Ivey, Jr released his second album, Gangster’s Paradise. The title track was the biggest selling single in the US that year. Since 1995 he has released some other stuff but is now best known for appearing in just about any TV show that will take him, including:

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Hip-hop has given a lot to snowboarding over the years, from the music in videos to the baggy gangster clothes, but has snowboarding given anything back? Well some people have really had a try.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Illicit Snowboarding's Last Resorts is a guide to the places that are too small, too remote, too warm or too embroiled in warfare to really make them a popular destination. Despite their limitations they are worth knowing about, because if you ever happen to be in the area, then they would definitely be worth a try just for the blag.
This week we look at Lesotho

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's been a year since this website started so in the tradition of the Internet we will celebrate with a birthday theme. This time we bring you the second of our hard-hitting articles, exposing the underground world of snowboarding cakes with illicit's guide to the Top 15 Edible Snowboards.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This week something different. We've scoured the origins of snowboarding history to find some of the key moments, then we've stuck all that info into a shiny interactive timeline machine. Enjoy...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Looking to buy a new snowboard this season? Here’s an idea you have probably not been considering. Why not spend a couple of grand getting yourself a designer snowboard?
Over the years I’ve seen a number of fashion houses getting in on the snowboarding act and I’ve mostly ignored it, but now there are enough examples that we can actually do a top 10 count down.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

It's the second instalment of Snowboarding Erotica and this time we take a skin deep look at - Naked Snowboarding...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The ski vs snowboarder debate is as old as snowboarding itself and it is also very, very played out. Despite this week we have decided to exhume its decaying corpse for one last shot at the limelight, because we’ve found a new angle – Snowsports Dictators. They’re mostly skiers and they’re mostly evil, and you don’t get that as part of the snowboarding package
Illicit’s Guide to the Top 10 Snowsports Dictators…

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Matt Cheney – The world’s most prolific self publicising artist you’ve never heard of.
Our previously featured Art Attack artists went about their art business the old fashioned way, by painting scenes of snowboarding from the comfort of their own home or studio. Matt Cheney does it differently. He takes his art into the hostile environment of the real world because he is an ‘action artist’.
What the hell is an action artist?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Getting older is not a smooth process, it happens in jumps, and we all go through life feeling either too young or too old at every step. The moments when you suddenly realise you are getting older are always quite a shock. For me these moments have included:
  1. The first time a Premiership footballer was younger than me.
  2. When my friends started having kids intentionally.
  3. Dealing with the evidence that as a grown man I looked like a multicoloured clown wearing baggy trousers and hoodies when not in a snowboarding environment.
  4. Realising that my childhood heroes have moved on from dying of drug overdoses and suicides and have started to die of natural causes
Some of our recent articles included a few stories of dead snowboarders so to change things up this week we look at someone before they die. Adam ‘MCA’ Yauch of Beastie Boys fame, was recently diagnosed with throat cancer, which he should pull through comfortably, but I’m not taking any chances.

I guess this picture was taken after the surgery

I was a big fan of the Beastie Boys back before all the instrumental jazz nonsense, but I never spent much effort caring which one was which. Today we are going to look in more detail at the one called MCA.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Last week we had a carefully thought-out and thoroughly researched article. This week we look at snowboarding cats.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Last week you might have thought we covered everything worth knowing about snowboarding in Hawaii. Well it turns out that there is another interesting story about snowboarding in Hawaii and for this we have to look back in time at the origins of snowboarding.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I’ve snowboarded in many places around the world over the years, so I figured that I would put my knowledge use and write a handy resort guide. Here it is:
All resorts are pretty much the same. You get similar stodgy food, they are all similarly mountainous and the force of gravity appears to be a constant. The single thing that has a real effect how different the experience will be is how good the snow is when you are there.
So that’s it, if you get lucky and get good snow you’ll have good time no matter where you are, bosh.
There are however some places that really aren’t snowboarding resorts, they are either too small, too remote, too warm or too embroiled in warfare to really make them a popular destination. Despite their limitations they are worth knowing about, because if you ever happen to be in the area, then they would definitely be worth a try just for the blag. So for the first article of our new series Last Resort we look at snowboarding in Hawaii...

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Over the last 20ish years a whole new genre of sports came into existence: X-Treme!™ Sports®©. A wide variety of sports sharing a similar ethos such as snowboarding, mountain biking and base-jumping, have all flourished under the spiritual leadership of the almighty Red Bull empire. I have been a fully paid up member of the extreme sport phenomena, but suddenly I have come to the terrifying realisation that all these sports are actually a bit soft. They’re not soft in comparison with say, lawn bowls or ice dancing, but they are if you take a look back in history.
Not convinced? Have you also been fooled by the great ESPN/X-Games marketing cover-up? You want proof?

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Question: What do the following all have in common?
  • Jar Jar Binks & Star Wars
  • Vomit & Jimi Hendrix
  • Gorge Bush & Justifiable Warfare
  • Butch Brady and Eric Sweet & snowboarding
Answer: They all managed to ruin something that used to be cool.
Over the years as snowboarding has become more mainstream it has lost its edginess. These guys came to late to be held fully responsible for this loss, but what they have managed to do is to shamelessly batter the definitive and final nails into the coffin. Watching these guys going to work on snowboarding is like watching your dad, who at one time was the coolest man in your universe, dance at a wedding. There is no sadder sight known to man.
So this article is not just about multiple snowboards it’s also about; Butch & Sweet - the most evil men in snowbusiness.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Accidental Hero No. 2 – Kyle Suske
If last week’s exposé on the world of snowboarding birthday cakes was just a bit too lightweight for you this week should be right up your street. This week we look at the most heinous of all snow obstacles – Moguls of Death!

The Accidental Hero column is dedicated to snowboarders who brought something to snowboarding but for whatever reason did not become a household name. In this edition we take and Kyle Suske, snowboarding’s mogul martyr...

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Because I have been using my time laying around on beaches and continuing to recover from last season’s injury it’s a short one this week. It may be short but I’m expecting it to be popular, if the sheer number of photos of these on the Internet is anything to go by pretty much everyone apart from me looks forward to having a snowboarding cake on their birthday...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Snowboarding Celebrities No. 6 - The Characters from Star Wars
When the characters from Star Wars aren’t busy chasing each other around with laser swords they like nothing better than a good bit of snowboarding. When I say Star Wars characters I mean the original Star Wars and not the new fangled nonsense. That Jar Jar Binks lad definitely rides snow blades.
Let’s have a look at the Science Facts...

Friday, June 26, 2009

A lot of companies have jumped on the snowboard merchandising bandwagon over the years. Strangely a little company from the land of bacon and no hills joined the party at one time. Here is LEGO’s contribution.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

From the very moment snowboards were introduced to the world a small section of people went in to a frenzy of invention to try and improve things. Personally I’ve been pretty happy with the current idea which is why my plans for a jet powered snowboard have not got past the ideas stage. Some of these inventions have really taken snowboarding down some odd evolution cul-de-sacs. This series takes a look at all the odd designs that people have come up with and we start with powered snowboards.

Everything’s better with a motor isn’t it?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I was dredging the Internet for my next snowboarding scoop when I can across an odd site that had a page dedicated to Famous Snowboarding Mormons. I’ve since learned two things.
  1. To call yourself a half decent Mormon snowboarder you have to star in an X-BOX computer game.
  2. The Mormon religion is as bonkers as they come
Illicit’s guide to Famous Mormon Snowboarders…

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

In the first of yet another potentially epic series Illicit Snowboarding lives up to its name as we have a letch at...

One thing that you can’t avoid finding when you are searching for snowboarding pictures is images of scantily clad ladies. To be honest you pretty much can’t avoid finding scantily clad ladies when you search for anything on the internet and I for one have no problem with scantily clad ladies interrupting whenever they want to.
A virtual Internet
But I’ve noticed just how awkward it seems to be for these girls to strike anything approaching an erotic or sexy pose whilst being scantily clad in a snowboarding environment. It’s clearly one of the toughest environments for achieving erotic. In the following article we will use our very arbitrary judgment to rate the efforts and let’s see if we can find anyone who manages the impossible...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

We all know that the most important thing about snowboarding is looking good, but there is a point when it becomes pretty difficult... when it gets bloody freezing.
At this point you have to balance the embarrassment of coming back with a snotty nose and mumbling through frozen lips, against covering up with some sort of natty looking face protection.
Not a good face look
The difficultly of providing a solution for this facial problem has driven designers to great heights over the years. Let’s take a look at some of the solutions as we delve into Illicit Snowboarding’s Guide to Face Fashion...

Sunday, April 5, 2009

It’s our second instalment of illicit Art Attack. Half the fun of looking at the works of these…er..unique snowboard artists is looking through their websites. This week we look at US based artist Ron Merino whose website is a prime example of the genre…
Home Page
The home page starts with this text. Strangely Ron has written his introduction from the third person perspective:
“Welcome to our virtual gallery featuring the works of Ron Merino, a San Diego CA native. Ron demonstrates his artistic genius in oils. Through his extraordinary talent and remarkable ability to capture motion he gives us a profound insight into a movement in time.”
So he starts off straight away by proclaiming himself to be an ‘artistic genius’. He’s not just saying he has a bit of talent, nope, he’s saying he’s a fully fledged artistic genius, up there with Michelangelo, Monet, Picasso and the like. Not content with this he also considers himself to be an ‘extraordinary talent’ who has ‘remarkable ability’ and who can provide ‘profound insight’.
Now either this guy is the most misunderstood genius of our generation or he is profoundly nuts. Let’s see if we can determine which he is…

Friday, April 3, 2009

Getting a tattoo, it's a very important decision to get right. I look back at photos from a few years ago and I'm amazed just how badly my fashion choices have aged. I can only imagine how disappointing it would be having to look at some of these tattoos in the mirror for the rest of my life. Let's take a look at the damage.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Last season I was snowboarding in Big Bear (an American resort with correspondingly silly name) in when I noticed this sign…

American’s can be a pretty litigious race but I can’t help feeling that this sign was really over stating the bleeding obvious. Anyway, after taking this photo, and just to stick it to the man, I rode straight across the paving. That told them.

And it made me wonder what other stupid signs I could find. To save me visiting all the resorts in the world and wasting my precious time and sanity finding and photographing signs, I decided to use the power of the Internet to find/steal images from other people’s diligent research. 

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Snowboarding Celebrities 3, 4 & 5 – Pingu, Seal and Heidi Klum
Now at first glance you might think that these three celebrities have little in common but you’d be wrong. Read on to see how they are linked into one seething mass of cutting-edge snowboarding journalism...

Friday, January 30, 2009

Your average snowboarder spends weeks salivating over snowboard purchase. They spend countless hours reading through the magazine tests, foraging through the Internet for any semblance of good advice, asking friends to give their opinion even if they know nothing about snowboarding and when we finally enter the shop we will spend even more time perusing all the shiny new boards and asking the assistant for even more advice. In the end we buy the one with the pretty colours.
And that’s just the start of the long and complicated relationship we will have with our snowboard as we pass the initial stage of lust into a state of love. It follows closely the progress of any loving relationship, except of course we go out of our way to batter our boards which ‘apparently’ is just not acceptable with spouses or kittens. But at some point we will tire of our once-loved boards and they will eventually find themselves replaced by a new more colourful and shiny object of our affection.
So what happens at the end of a board’s life? It’s a question on almost no one’s lips, so in a complete about turn on the shameless seeking of popular topics we have been covering of late, here is an article with no topical relevance at all.
Teaching an Old Board New Tricks...

Friday, January 16, 2009

Snowboarding always seems to attract creative people. At times it seems you can barely move for professional snowboarders who have a successful sideline in photography, movie making, clothing design, magazine writing or creating snowboard graphics. However this is is not the reality, it’s just that the non creative professional snowboarder types have the good sense to leave it well alone.

Just like the X Factor will find a few people that can sing it also manages to find the completely deluded in droves. To be honest my favourite bit has always been the shows at the start. Once they get rid of the freaks the whole show really losses my interest.
While perusing the Internet I have on numerous occasions been visually poisoned by should I put it... mentals. There are in fact so many ‘artists’ that are worth covering that I realised that they couldn’t all be given the justice they deserved in just one article, so in what is going to be an intermittent series I would like to introduce...

illicit Art Attack #1 - Pascal Jean Delorme

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