Friday, May 11, 2012

Rapper Slash Snowboarder: Top 15 Celebrity Snowboarding Rappers

A week ago I’d just started to research another in our entirely vapid series of celebrity snowboarder spotting articles and I was checking an old article we’d done on Adam Yauch when, bang, my TV decided to hit me with the news that he had just died. Shitty news. Freaky timing.
For what it’s worth here’s a list of famous rappers that snowboard…

Schoolly D
Given Name: Jesse Weaver Jr.
Famous for: He was the first gangsta rapper. He was a bit crap at the whole rapping thing though so you’ve probably never heard of him.
Celebrity fact: He claims that he invented snowboarding. He apparently invented snowboarding as a kid when he sledded down a hill on a piece of linoleum. 
Snowboarding skills: In the DVD of the movie King of New York there’s documentary on Schoolly D called ‘The Adventures of Schoolly D: Snowboarder’. In the interests of journalistic integrity we bought and watched this DVD extra. It was long, dull and involved no snowboarding. His snowboarding skills remain unknown. 

Jim Jones
Given Name: Joseph Jones II
Famous for feuding with: Jay-Z
Celebrity fact: Used to have his own freestyle inline skating team called Dipskate
Snowboarding skills: Louie Vito taught him everything he knows.

Given Name: Nasir Jones
Famous for feuding with: Jay-Z
Celebrity fact: His mom is called Fannie which must make him the world’s biggest target for momma jokes. 
Snowboarding skills: Jack Mitrani taught him everything he knows.

John Forté
Given Name: John Forté
Famous for: Imprisoned for 14 years after being found guilty of possession of a briefcase full of liquid cocaine. He was later pardoned by George W Bush halfway through the sentence because he was famous and that’s how things roll. 
Celebrity fact: Studied classical violin at school and he earned a full scholarship to the prestigious Phillips Exeter Academy. 
Snowboarding skills: Had a crack in January this year at the Oakley Learn To Ride at Park City.
Not sure he’s completely sold on the idea 

Jermaine Dupri
Given Name: Jermaine Mauldin
Famous for: Introducing the world to Kris Kross
Celebrity fact: Was in a relationship with Janet Jackson for 8 years until he got a stripper pregnant.  Still, at least he got a nice tattoo out of it.   
Snowboarding skills: He’s got his own snowboard so he must be good
He’s filmed pretty every single day he’s been snowboarding if you want to catch more of that series

Coolio is the guy in the red top givin it some
Given Name: Artis Ivey Jr.
Famous for: Hips Hop’s most famous one-hit-wonder
Celebrity fact: After stage diving during a gig at a British university he was mugged of his watch, gold chain, sunglasses and a shoe before he could be rescued by security.
Snowboarding skills: Actually he’s not bad and has been spotted snowboarding a few times.  

Given Name: Goldie Lookin Chain
Famous for: The most successful rap supergroup to ever originate from Wales
Celebrity fact: Dedicated the song “Your Missus Is a Nutter” to David Beckham in when preforming before a soccer World Cup qualifying match between Wales and England. 
Snowboarding skills: A few of them have had a shot at snowboarding, but Adam Hussain (aka Benny Blanco) is a proper snowboarder having done a season out in Whistler before he took up a life of rap.

Given Name: Aaron Smith
Famous for: Being spotted at a Whitestarr gig
Celebrity fact: I knew nothing about this guy so I listened to one song and now can’t be fucked finding out any more.
Snowboarding skills: He’s a learner and had his first go at this year’s Oakley Learn To Ride.

Snoop Dogg
Given Name: Calvin Broadus Jr.
Famous for: Being the poster child for the marijuana and concealed weapons industries.
Celebrity fact: For a while he had his own skateboard company called Snoop Dogg Board Company (SDBC). The company was a partnership with Academy Snowboard’s distributor Pentagon and there were rumours that they planned to produce snowboards, unfortunately SDBC didn’t last long enough to carry out the treat because it was fundamentally crap and it quickly went out of business.
Snowboarding skills: None that we know of, although he has teamed up with Neff which lead to this...
And this...
And a massive overuse of a weak pun.
Snoop has also endorsed; a Swiss candy that tastes like weed, AOL, hotdogs, 7 Eleven coffee, a pet accessory line and Cal Worthington’s Ford dealership in Long Beach, California.
And the also now defunct Bitch Snowboards

Lil Jon
Given Name: Jonathan Smith
Famous for: Mainstreaming crunk
Celebrity fact: Lil Jon was epically not too cool for school
Snowboarding skills: He’s not done it much but he seems to be really into it, turning up all over the shop these days. Here’s the world’s dullest interview with him…

While we’re on guys who call themselves Lil, here’s the weirdest trend ever seen in rap, or snowboarding. Rappers who wear snowboard boots, who don’t snowboard…
Lil Wayne
Sporting a pair of Celtek X Vans collaboration

Bow Wow formerly Lil Bow Wow
Sporting some Nike Vapen and a silly hand sign

Sporting a brace of Nike X Arbito collaboration and a silly hand sign
And sitting on a $23,000 chair he helped design for insulting rich people who like shit furniture.  

Sporting a Nordica.

It seems that the snowboard boot is now the thing to be seen in in the sneaker world. On Hollars Dollars these Adidas Originals snowboard boots design by Jeremy Scott are described as:
“Oh word?! These is snow boots? Damn son. You be walk’n in the snow wif these on and the snow just be melt’n away around you with all them fun colors. Like roll’n in skittles…taste the rainbow…taste the rainbow…”
In case you like the look of them and really want to OD on the rainbow, Jeremy Scott has also produced a whole outfit you can wear in your next celebrity engagement. 
Jeremy Scott is shit at his job
Or maybe try a pair of these customised Nike Zoom Force 1s produced by jewellery designer Osamu Koyama
Who actually got paid to do this.
Enough of whatever the fuck just happened here. Here’s the final snowboarding rapper and by far the best snowboarder

Given Name: Adam Yauch
Famous for: The Beastie Boys
Celebrity fact: Because rap has only been around since the late 70s Adam Yauch was pretty much the first rapper to die from natural causes rather than the side effects of a drive by. As a result his celebrity death didn’t get all that much media coverage. Here’s the difference between living with some dignity and really fucking up.  
In the interests of redressing the balance here’s two good links you should have a read of. The thoughts of a lad that used to ride with him and the comments that go with this picture 

Snowboarding skills: He knew what he was doing

You Might Also Like…
We did a premature obituary on Adam Yauch a few years back which someone brimming with the power of hindsight recently described as;  “I’m not liking the cancer references on this average article...”

Or for something more cheery here’s The Strange Phenomena of the Snowboarder Slash Rapper 

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